Week 11

April 25, 2008
Dear Diary,
As a 16 year old sophomore in high school, I feel adolescence is very ruled by angst.  Sleeping in is also very important for me and I am not a morning person at all; more of a night owl.  Adolescence seems to be defined by "coming of age", controlled by raging hormones, peer-oriented, and signified by age.  Throughout all of high school, the band Linkin Park has been my favorite.  They are the epitome and definition of angst that many people avoid due to their sad, angry, and rebellious sound. I find their sound to be very well suited to my adolescent experience thus far.  My hormones have more been triggered by my attraction to older guys, that I don't really get to experience at all.  So, the theory that my decisions are driven by my hormones if completely false for me.  Within school, I hear guys talking about sex with girls, but I often don't partake in the conversation because I am a virgin.  The subject of sex is also very taboo in the context of Catholic religion.  My favorite song right now, that often brings me to tears is Crawling by Linkin Park.  It has very generic, angsty lyrics but I like that. And I often look at myself in the mirror; feeling insecure, isolated, confused, and fearful. I think I may have depression and have thoughts of suicide, but I guess that is just the "coming of age" aspect of growing up...