Dear Diary,
As a white, middle class, Catholic, gay male, I feel the intersections of my identity are conflicting while at the same time unified in some aspects. As a white, middle class male I obviously have a lot of privilege and feel like I fit in to my dominantly white high school in the small town of Grain Valley. I don't actually have an African American friends which I kind of feel bad about, but its hard when there are none really around to befriend. My identity as gay and Catholic kind of keeps me in the closet. I haven't told anyone, and have never dated/ don't plan on it. In Catholic religion, sex is a completely taboo subject, and the concept of gay sex is complete immoral. I am sometimes comforted in the media, however. The typical queer person is a white gay male in the media which gives me hope. Even the "It gets better" video are two white, gay males. I can't help but think of how it would be different had I been gay and black. W.E.B. DuBois explains the concept of double consciousness, in a sense living two lives. I have felt this way in terms of my sexual orientation, but not as race that DuBois and many African Americans experience. The veil, or facade, that African Americans must wear to "fit in" to the dominant white culture is very salient with the veil I wear to fit into heternormativity. I just hope I can stop hiding this someday, and maybe take another look at religion to eliminate the feeling that I am an abomination in God's eyes.
No comments:
Post a Comment